In my last blog I mentioned how single women can create a single energy around them that can keep Mr right away. In this blog I would like to concentrate on the practical ways in which we can eliminate that single energy while living a life with purpose.
1) Get rid of male bashing single women in your inner circle of friends. I am not suggesting you break the friendship but when their attitude is leaking into your thought pattern you can easily believe that ‘all men are dogs.’
2) Get involved with social activities. For example join a social professional network which has social gatherings. Ensure it caters to a diverse group other than just women.
3) Tell close friends that you are looking to settle down. A Recommendation is a very good way to meet that special someone.
4) Travel and see the world. This is a good way to refresh your perception on love, life, men and everything in-between.
5) Please! please! please! Minimise all the single functions you attend unless there is a good mix of male and female attendees.
6)Not every single man you meet stands as a potential husband. Some are just meant to stay as friends.
7) Let a man be a man. By this, I mean any man who you share company with. Make sure you allow the man to open the doors for you and show some chivalry. It is so easy for us to block a man from being a gentleman. Oftentimes men want the opportunity to do it but we are so quick to do things ourselves.
8) Ask God to heal you from past broken relationships this could be from a ex-lover, Father or any male figure who has let you down.
9) Clean-up your house. Some women who have been single for a little while have the habit of hording things. If you have clutter everywhere in your house, it will also mean you have a lot of clutter in your mind too. Ensure you de-clutter your house at least 3 times a year. Make room for that man.
The Miss Education of the Single Woman
Monday, 26 September 2011
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Single ME Out part 1
It's been too long since I've posted something. I always want to blog something of substance. Anyway back to business...
A good married sister of mine told me in order to be found by the RIGHT man you must evacuate the single energy. So I asked "what do you mean by single energy, is it like a breeze? an aroma? help me out." She responded "Sometimes we are so consumed in being single that we don't make room for anybody else but ourselves." Hmm very interesting. I will summarise the rest. If you have been single for more than 3 years you start to live your life around your 'single' status. So all your friends will be single, more than likely the events you go to may consist of the same single women. And if you attend church you most probably attend single woman’s meetings or ministry. What's the point of that?
A good married sister of mine told me in order to be found by the RIGHT man you must evacuate the single energy. So I asked "what do you mean by single energy, is it like a breeze? an aroma? help me out." She responded "Sometimes we are so consumed in being single that we don't make room for anybody else but ourselves." Hmm very interesting. I will summarise the rest. If you have been single for more than 3 years you start to live your life around your 'single' status. So all your friends will be single, more than likely the events you go to may consist of the same single women. And if you attend church you most probably attend single woman’s meetings or ministry. What's the point of that?
I really can't buy into the fact that I must be a satisfied single sister. Now I'm not saying that my life as been on hold, I keep it moving, but us single sisters have need's especially if we're trying to live a consecrated life.
After being deceived by Destiny Child's anthem of 'independent women' I think we have to stop and do some house cleaning. Independence is good when we don't take it too far and become the one-man-band in our lives. If we surround ourselves with single women who dog out men, we too will carry that same mentality and energy which will keep us single. The bible say's Its not good for man to be alone - so make sure you 'single out' the energy that stops you from being exposed to Mr Right.
How to do this will be in Part 2.
How to do this will be in Part 2.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
PMS Pre-Marital Struggle
It seems that everyone is getting married but you right?All your friends are hitching up and it seems it is never going to happen. "Your time will come, don't worry-next year is your year girlfriend."Yeah right! But when that year comes and you find yourself walking behind the bride again and again it's like what's going on Lord I thought I was next. Many women I speak to today ask me the same question time and time again "why is it that I am still single. I have prayed fasted, stayed holy I just don't understand. Where are all the good men at? I just want to get married and be happy."
Be happy... Is it true that happiness is tied up into us getting married? Does our purpose of what we've been called to do matter? Or do we find it when we get hitched up? As I was looking at the life of Adam and Eve I realised something. They had everything a man could ever want. They had it so good that they did not need any clothes the glory of God covered them. They were in control the animals harkened to the voices; nature was at their beck and call. No 9-5 job just pure paradise. What a life!
But something happened. Even though Adam and Eve had everything they decided to concentrate on the ONE thing they could not have. Isn’t that like us we may frown at Adam and Eve for their "fall" but we in our own lives do exactly the same thing. For many women (not all) our concentration is focused on getting married-getting a husband and we hold God accountable for it. In reality this desire holds us captive and our lives become stagnant because we place everything on hold waiting for Mr right.
I encourage you ladies today to flip the script and concentrate on what you do have. Your Mr will come when his see's you doing your thing. In fact you will be found when you are walking out your destiny tending to your garden. Don't die in your Eden there is too much for you to do, too much for you to accomplish. Preparation for a purpose takes positioning and polishing.
I leave you with God's first charge to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Gen 1 verse 29 Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you;Gen 1 verse 30and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to everything that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food and it was so.
Friday, 3 December 2010
That special perfect ONE!
As I cast my eyes on this beautiful creation the clouds parted and the music started playing. I began to sing the song which my heart knows so well. It seems so fitting to what I was feeling. 'La la la la la Lamman I love you'. lol
If you ask me what type of men I find attractive I would paste his picture (excluding the earring not cool!) right on your forehead. It would be something to actually get the thing YOU WANT.
Okay! Take gorgeous Lamman Tucker for example. Has a good job, pleasing to eye a good catch right? Well a quote from an interview he gave in Sister 2 Sister magazine:
"I've been able to be pretty disciplined. And then there's a couple of times, I admit, I haven't been quite that disciplined. But I've also learned to make sure that I don't make commitments that I can't keep. So no matter how much I might really be into her, if I know that, being honest, maybe I'm interested in somebody else. You just expect me to drop everything and be all about you. You're reading too many romance novels. Over time, as we get to know each other, then it's going to be up to me to decide whether I stop seeing somebody else and go like, "You know what? I think I really do like this one."
Mr Lamman Tucker you've lost all your brownie points in my book honey. Can you imagine being in that situation? I know the scripture says there would be 7 women to 1 man but with this type of mentality I would rather go to a village and find myself a herdsman.
As we enter a new year and list the things we want to achieve lets ensure that if we have 'husband' somewhere on that list let’s make sure we choose with our hearts and activate that inner knowing in our Noah. What we want is not always what we need and it may not come packaged in the way we expect it. The Jews were looking for a saviour that would conquer their enemies and be a physical leader. They did not think their saviour would come and give his life in order to conquer the enemy and gain many lives and lead us back into communion with the father. What they wanted was not what they needed. What Jesus did impacted the whole world which will span into eternity.
Having something that is already packaged loses its novelty quickly but working to build and make that thing beautiful will last forever and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour.
So ladies this year as we launch into another year in search of that special perfect one ensure that he is not pre-packaged or pre-ordered. Look out for someone who has a need of what you can uniquely give making you his special perfect one.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
The Essence of a MAN
Please someone tell me what’s going on? The amount of men 'coming out' within the church community and scandalous allegations being thrown about in the media seems that all men are deciding to play for the same football team. So what's going on with our male counterparts? I wanted to voice my opinion and talk about one aspect of same sex relationships from a Christian perspective. I have heard the ‘God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' argument and I thought I would approach it from a different angle.
When God created Adam He breathed into Him (His Spirit) and charged him to take authority, subdue and dominion over the land. This charge was not given to Eve. I believe this spirit dwells in every man, It is his choice whether to walk in his assignment or not. One of the major elements that emphasize the 'spirit' of a man is his ability to multiply by his seed or even produce seed. We as women cannot produce seed by ourselves we are carriers and helpers. When a man plants seed in a woman it becomes our responsibility to nourish it and see it through to its completion. That is the order and balance which God has established. God is a God of balance and order and we are commissioned to bear fruit whether that is physical or spiritual. In order for our seed to inherit the blessing of God, it must be covered by the institution of marriage which is a covenant that seals the commission of God between man and woman. It's not what we do that's makes a difference its what legancy we leave behind.
Below is a discussion from men regarding being on the Down-Low very interesting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TaTVkSJe84
When God created Adam He breathed into Him (His Spirit) and charged him to take authority, subdue and dominion over the land. This charge was not given to Eve. I believe this spirit dwells in every man, It is his choice whether to walk in his assignment or not. One of the major elements that emphasize the 'spirit' of a man is his ability to multiply by his seed or even produce seed. We as women cannot produce seed by ourselves we are carriers and helpers. When a man plants seed in a woman it becomes our responsibility to nourish it and see it through to its completion. That is the order and balance which God has established. God is a God of balance and order and we are commissioned to bear fruit whether that is physical or spiritual. In order for our seed to inherit the blessing of God, it must be covered by the institution of marriage which is a covenant that seals the commission of God between man and woman. It's not what we do that's makes a difference its what legancy we leave behind.
Below is a discussion from men regarding being on the Down-Low very interesting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TaTVkSJe84
Monday, 6 September 2010
All that and a bag of chips vs Blank Canvas
Men are funny things.
I'll say it like this: they are like a box of chocolates. They come in all different sizes and you never know what you going to get until you bite into it. Something so decorative on the outside can taste so awful leaving you saying yuk! what flavour was that. I'll never try that again.
Now I am not speaking from a broken or bitter heart far from it. Just an observation of how we conclude on who fits our other half of life. I've come to realise that the very thing we want or look for in a partner could be a hindrance to what we really need. So I declare a day of liberation. Throw out the top ten lists and wipe the slate clean. I challenge you to work with a blank canvas. Start dating outside of your criteria. (In reason that is) I do not suggest that you start dating a tramp, a married man, or a man who has about ten different children to whom have all different mothers. I'm talking about the outside package. If you are like me the height thing is something that is in the top 3. Any man who even considers approaching me has to be at least 6'2. If you come close to my height without heels you are immediately disqualified. Now I am willing to let that go (I take a deep breath.) I will open applications to all nations, height and weight. Blank canvas!
I believe we can miss out on good relationships or friendships when we build it on the outside package. I know I sound a bit contradictory. But I still stand firm on drawing the line at personal hygiene. That is a complete disqualification. I don't care how fine or up in Holy Ghost he is. If he has bad body odour and he don't realise it. Then he’s got bigger problems then finding a woman.
So this season: it's about working with a blank canvas. He might not be all that and a bag of chips but he may have a personality that out shines his physical appearance. I am reminded that God looks in the heart of man and not on the outside appearance. If it’s working for Him then I think I’ll try it too.
I'll say it like this: they are like a box of chocolates. They come in all different sizes and you never know what you going to get until you bite into it. Something so decorative on the outside can taste so awful leaving you saying yuk! what flavour was that. I'll never try that again.
Now I am not speaking from a broken or bitter heart far from it. Just an observation of how we conclude on who fits our other half of life. I've come to realise that the very thing we want or look for in a partner could be a hindrance to what we really need. So I declare a day of liberation. Throw out the top ten lists and wipe the slate clean. I challenge you to work with a blank canvas. Start dating outside of your criteria. (In reason that is) I do not suggest that you start dating a tramp, a married man, or a man who has about ten different children to whom have all different mothers. I'm talking about the outside package. If you are like me the height thing is something that is in the top 3. Any man who even considers approaching me has to be at least 6'2. If you come close to my height without heels you are immediately disqualified. Now I am willing to let that go (I take a deep breath.) I will open applications to all nations, height and weight. Blank canvas!
I believe we can miss out on good relationships or friendships when we build it on the outside package. I know I sound a bit contradictory. But I still stand firm on drawing the line at personal hygiene. That is a complete disqualification. I don't care how fine or up in Holy Ghost he is. If he has bad body odour and he don't realise it. Then he’s got bigger problems then finding a woman.
So this season: it's about working with a blank canvas. He might not be all that and a bag of chips but he may have a personality that out shines his physical appearance. I am reminded that God looks in the heart of man and not on the outside appearance. If it’s working for Him then I think I’ll try it too.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
On the look out for my Rock and Chesnut
So I reluctantly went to a singles conference 'Set Time for marriage' over the weekend, I literally dragged my feet all the way there and told myself that I was going for research purposes only.I've been to so many single conferences that I have the T-shirt, shoes, hat, and bathroom set. By the encouragement of my friend I tried to stay open minded and positive.
As I approached the venue, I rolled my eyes on the amount of women I saw flocking to this event. 'Here we go again' I said to myself. Once again I was reminded to stay positive and have faith. As the message came it was quite interesting, the pastor taught on how it’s not up to God to pick our life partner, but it’s our responsibility yadda yadda yadda.
NOW this is what I have a problem with...
...the amount of women that were present was obviously more than the men. BUT what I realised was the guys I saw at the conference (not all) seemed to have a geeky persona. In other words I can understand why their last chance was to attend a single conference where hundreds of women would be gathered in one place. If they were not able to get one lady, then my next advice would be to become a eunuch simple.
I also happened to sit next to a brother, seemed really sweet but very short. I noticed as he communicated me that he had a strong odour coming from his mouth and underarm. I really wanted to advise this brother and tell him nicely that he did not need prayer nor was there any demon of delay in his life, but if he could just shake some Tic Tacs in his mouth every 20 minutes and got familiar with a deodorant the 24 hour protection for men, I'm sure within 6 weeks his single situation would change. But again I did not want to be a prophet of doom so I just held my breath and smiled and remembered the fruits of the Spirit 'long suffering.'
So what’s happened to the handsome, well groomed, clean brothers in the kingdom? Why do I have to go into deep prayer intercession when I see the likes of 'Dwayne the rock Johnson' or Morris Chestnut on the TV and beg God to deliver these fine looking examples of MEN into the kingdom?
Ahhh and the world keeps turning.
As I approached the venue, I rolled my eyes on the amount of women I saw flocking to this event. 'Here we go again' I said to myself. Once again I was reminded to stay positive and have faith. As the message came it was quite interesting, the pastor taught on how it’s not up to God to pick our life partner, but it’s our responsibility yadda yadda yadda.
NOW this is what I have a problem with...
...the amount of women that were present was obviously more than the men. BUT what I realised was the guys I saw at the conference (not all) seemed to have a geeky persona. In other words I can understand why their last chance was to attend a single conference where hundreds of women would be gathered in one place. If they were not able to get one lady, then my next advice would be to become a eunuch simple.
I also happened to sit next to a brother, seemed really sweet but very short. I noticed as he communicated me that he had a strong odour coming from his mouth and underarm. I really wanted to advise this brother and tell him nicely that he did not need prayer nor was there any demon of delay in his life, but if he could just shake some Tic Tacs in his mouth every 20 minutes and got familiar with a deodorant the 24 hour protection for men, I'm sure within 6 weeks his single situation would change. But again I did not want to be a prophet of doom so I just held my breath and smiled and remembered the fruits of the Spirit 'long suffering.'
So what’s happened to the handsome, well groomed, clean brothers in the kingdom? Why do I have to go into deep prayer intercession when I see the likes of 'Dwayne the rock Johnson' or Morris Chestnut on the TV and beg God to deliver these fine looking examples of MEN into the kingdom?
Ahhh and the world keeps turning.
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