Why am I not married?

Single ME out part-2

2011-09-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

In my last blog I mentioned how single women can create a single energy around them that can keep Mr right away. In this blog I would like to concentrate on the practical ways in which we can eliminate that single energy while living a life with purpose.

1) Get rid of male bashing single women in your inner circle of friends. I am not suggesting you break the friendship but when their attitude is leaking into your thought pattern you can easily believe that ‘all men are dogs.’

2) Get involved with social activities. For example join a social professional network which has social gatherings. Ensure it caters to a diverse group other than just women.

3) Tell close friends that you are looking to settle down. A Recommendation is a very good way to meet that special someone.

4) Travel and see the world. This is a good way to refresh your perception on love, life, men and everything in-between.

5) Please! please! please! Minimise all the single functions you attend unless there is a good mix of male and female attendees.

6)Not every single man you meet stands as a potential husband. Some are just meant to stay as friends.

7) Let a man be a man. By this, I mean any man who you share company with. Make sure you allow the man to open the doors for you and show some chivalry. It is so easy for us to block a man from being a gentleman. Oftentimes men want the opportunity to do it but we are so quick to do things ourselves.

8) Ask God to heal you from past broken relationships this could be from a ex-lover, Father or any male figure who has let you down.

9) Clean-up your house. Some women who have been single for a little while have the habit of hording things. If you have clutter everywhere in your house, it will also mean you have a lot of clutter in your mind too. Ensure you de-clutter your house at least 3 times a year. Make room for that man.

Single ME Out part 1

2011-07-05T02:35:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since I've posted something. I always want to blog something of substance. Anyway back to business...

A good married sister of mine told me in order to be found by the RIGHT man you must evacuate the single energy. So I asked "what do you mean by single energy, is it like a breeze? an aroma? help me out." She responded "Sometimes we are so consumed in being single that we don't make room for anybody else but ourselves." Hmm very interesting. I will summarise the rest. If you have been single for more than 3 years you start to live your life around your 'single' status. So all your friends will be single, more than likely the events you go to may consist of the same single women. And if you attend church you most probably attend single woman’s meetings or ministry. What's the point of that?

I really can't buy into the fact that I must be a satisfied single sister. Now I'm not saying that my life as been on hold, I keep it moving, but us single sisters have need's especially if we're trying to live a consecrated life.

After being deceived by Destiny Child's anthem of 'independent women' I think we have to stop and do some house cleaning. Independence is good when we don't take it too far and become the one-man-band in our lives. If we surround ourselves with single women who dog out men, we too will carry that same mentality and energy which will keep us single. The bible say's Its not good for man to be alone - so make sure you 'single out' the energy that stops you from being exposed to Mr Right.

How to do this will be in Part 2.

PMS Pre-Marital Struggle

2011-01-20T15:04:00.000-08:00

It seems that everyone is getting married but you right?All your friends are hitching up and it seems it is never going to happen. "Your time will come, don't worry-next year is your year girlfriend."Yeah right! But when that year comes and you find yourself walking behind the bride again and again it's like what's going on Lord I thought I was next.

Many women I speak to today ask me the same question time and time again "why is it that I am still single. I have prayed fasted, stayed holy I just don't understand. Where are all the good men at? I just want to get married and be happy."

Be happy... Is it true that happiness is tied up into us getting married? Does our purpose of what we've been called to do matter? Or do we find it when we get hitched up? As I was looking at the life of Adam and Eve I realised something. They had everything a man could ever want. They had it so good that they did not need any clothes the glory of God covered them. They were in control the animals harkened to the voices; nature was at their beck and call. No 9-5 job just pure paradise. What a life!

But something happened. Even though Adam and Eve had everything they decided to concentrate on the ONE thing they could not have. Isn’t that like us we may frown at Adam and Eve for their "fall" but we in our own lives do exactly the same thing. For many women (not all) our concentration is focused on getting married-getting a husband and we hold God accountable for it. In reality this desire holds us captive and our lives become stagnant because we place everything on hold waiting for Mr right.

I encourage you ladies today to flip the script and concentrate on what you do have. Your Mr will come when his see's you doing your thing. In fact you will be found when you are walking out your destiny tending to your garden. Don't die in your Eden there is too much for you to do, too much for you to accomplish. Preparation for a purpose takes positioning and polishing.

I leave you with God's first charge to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Gen 1 verse 29 Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you;Gen 1 verse 30and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to everything that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food and it was so.

That special perfect ONE!

2010-12-03T06:47:00.000-08:00

As I cast my eyes on this beautiful creation the clouds parted and the music started playing. I began to sing the song which my heart knows so well. It seems so fitting to what I was feeling. 'La la la la la Lamman I love you'. lol

If you ask me what type of men I find attractive I would paste his picture (excluding the earring not cool!) right on your forehead. It would be something to actually get the thing YOU WANT.

Okay! Take gorgeous Lamman Tucker for example. Has a good job, pleasing to eye a good catch right? Well a quote from an interview he gave in Sister 2 Sister magazine:

"I've been able to be pretty disciplined. And then there's a couple of times, I admit, I haven't been quite that disciplined. But I've also learned to make sure that I don't make commitments that I can't keep. So no matter how much I might really be into her, if I know that, being honest, maybe I'm interested in somebody else. You just expect me to drop everything and be all about you. You're reading too many romance novels. Over time, as we get to know each other, then it's going to be up to me to decide whether I stop seeing somebody else and go like, "You know what? I think I really do like this one."

Mr Lamman Tucker you've lost all your brownie points in my book honey. Can you imagine being in that situation? I know the scripture says there would be 7 women to 1 man but with this type of mentality I would rather go to a village and find myself a herdsman.

As we enter a new year and list the things we want to achieve lets ensure that if we have 'husband' somewhere on that list let’s make sure we choose with our hearts and activate that inner knowing in our Noah. What we want is not always what we need and it may not come packaged in the way we expect it. The Jews were looking for a saviour that would conquer their enemies and be a physical leader. They did not think their saviour would come and give his life in order to conquer the enemy and gain many lives and lead us back into communion with the father. What they wanted was not what they needed. What Jesus did impacted the whole world which will span into eternity.

Having something that is already packaged loses its novelty quickly but working to build and make that thing beautiful will last forever and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour.
So ladies this year as we launch into another year in search of that special perfect one ensure that he is not pre-packaged or pre-ordered. Look out for someone who has a need of what you can uniquely give making you his special perfect one.

The Essence of a MAN

2010-11-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

Please someone tell me what’s going on? The amount of men 'coming out' within the church community and scandalous allegations being thrown about in the media seems that all men are deciding to play for the same football team. So what's going on with our male counterparts? I wanted to voice my opinion and talk about one aspect of same sex relationships from a Christian perspective. I have heard the ‘God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' argument and I thought I would approach it from a different angle.

When God created Adam He breathed into Him (His Spirit) and charged him to take authority, subdue and dominion over the land. This charge was not given to Eve. I believe this spirit dwells in every man, It is his choice whether to walk in his assignment or not. One of the major elements that emphasize the 'spirit' of a man is his ability to multiply by his seed or even produce seed. We as women cannot produce seed by ourselves we are carriers and helpers. When a man plants seed in a woman it becomes our responsibility to nourish it and see it through to its completion. That is the order and balance which God has established. God is a God of balance and order and we are commissioned to bear fruit whether that is physical or spiritual. In order for our seed to inherit the blessing of God, it must be covered by the institution of marriage which is a covenant that seals the commission of God between man and woman. It's not what we do that's makes a difference its what legancy we leave behind.
Below is a discussion from men regarding being on the Down-Low very interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TaTVkSJe84

All that and a bag of chips vs Blank Canvas

2010-09-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Men are funny things.
I'll say it like this: they are like a box of chocolates. They come in all different sizes and you never know what you going to get until you bite into it. Something so decorative on the outside can taste so awful leaving you saying yuk! what flavour was that. I'll never try that again.

Now I am not speaking from a broken or bitter heart far from it. Just an observation of how we conclude on who fits our other half of life. I've come to realise that the very thing we want or look for in a partner could be a hindrance to what we really need. So I declare a day of liberation. Throw out the top ten lists and wipe the slate clean. I challenge you to work with a blank canvas. Start dating outside of your criteria. (In reason that is) I do not suggest that you start dating a tramp, a married man, or a man who has about ten different children to whom have all different mothers. I'm talking about the outside package. If you are like me the height thing is something that is in the top 3. Any man who even considers approaching me has to be at least 6'2. If you come close to my height without heels you are immediately disqualified. Now I am willing to let that go (I take a deep breath.) I will open applications to all nations, height and weight. Blank canvas!

I believe we can miss out on good relationships or friendships when we build it on the outside package. I know I sound a bit contradictory. But I still stand firm on drawing the line at personal hygiene. That is a complete disqualification. I don't care how fine or up in Holy Ghost he is. If he has bad body odour and he don't realise it. Then he’s got bigger problems then finding a woman.

So this season: it's about working with a blank canvas. He might not be all that and a bag of chips but he may have a personality that out shines his physical appearance. I am reminded that God looks in the heart of man and not on the outside appearance. If it’s working for Him then I think I’ll try it too.

On the look out for my Rock and Chesnut

2010-07-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I reluctantly went to a singles conference 'Set Time for marriage' over the weekend, I literally dragged my feet all the way there and told myself that I was going for research purposes only.I've been to so many single conferences that I have the T-shirt, shoes, hat, and bathroom set. By the encouragement of my friend I tried to stay open minded and positive.

As I approached the venue, I rolled my eyes on the amount of women I saw flocking to this event. 'Here we go again' I said to myself. Once again I was reminded to stay positive and have faith. As the message came it was quite interesting, the pastor taught on how it’s not up to God to pick our life partner, but it’s our responsibility yadda yadda yadda.

NOW this is what I have a problem with...
...the amount of women that were present was obviously more than the men. BUT what I realised was the guys I saw at the conference (not all) seemed to have a geeky persona. In other words I can understand why their last chance was to attend a single conference where hundreds of women would be gathered in one place. If they were not able to get one lady, then my next advice would be to become a eunuch simple.

I also happened to sit next to a brother, seemed really sweet but very short. I noticed as he communicated me that he had a strong odour coming from his mouth and underarm. I really wanted to advise this brother and tell him nicely that he did not need prayer nor was there any demon of delay in his life, but if he could just shake some Tic Tacs in his mouth every 20 minutes and got familiar with a deodorant the 24 hour protection for men, I'm sure within 6 weeks his single situation would change. But again I did not want to be a prophet of doom so I just held my breath and smiled and remembered the fruits of the Spirit 'long suffering.'

So what’s happened to the handsome, well groomed, clean brothers in the kingdom? Why do I have to go into deep prayer intercession when I see the likes of 'Dwayne the rock Johnson' or Morris Chestnut on the TV and beg God to deliver these fine looking examples of MEN into the kingdom?

Ahhh and the world keeps turning.

The Mirror of Love

2010-07-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Every woman loves gifts; I mean gifts that catch you by surprises. I'm old fashion so if a man is meeting me for a date he better have more than air swinging between his fingers. I'm not talking about diamonds or travel tickets (even though that would be nice) just something to make me smile and say 'you shouldn’t have'.

So what's happened to those good old fashion guys, which create an atmosphere around you, make you want to kiss him and not cuss him out by the end of the date? The essence of romance I believe as flown out of the window. Like the monopoly board pass go and collect $100 in this case go pass date one, and collect sex. That’s not right.

So how do you get the cute balance, well it’s better to give then to receive right? If we were more into pleasing each other in a relationship, then self gratification would not be on the agenda. Just like our relationship with God we should be seeking his heart not his hand, His presence not his presents.

In all that we do we must mirror the love of God, in our relationships, friendships and families. How would you like to be treated fellas? Would you want to be used and tossed away like a wash rag? Or would you like to be honoured, and treated like the king you are? It takes a King to make a woman feel like a Queen, and it takes a Queen to make a man feel like a King.

LIFE partner Vs LOVE partner

2010-04-06T17:10:00.001-07:00

So I have been single for a little while now and the closer I get to the big 3-O, the expectancy of what age I will actually settle down tends to torment my parents. So much so that they make me feel like I can just order a man from a catalogue and pow! He arrives after 7 days packaged in all my requirements. It seems my mother is so desperate for her grandchildren. She has gone past me getting married and wants to go straight to the stalk to collect her grand baby. But love is not as easy as it looks, it takes a lot of ingredients to bake that cake baby!

COMPATIBILITY - is a big one for me, until recently I always looked for someone with a similar personality to myself talkative, charismatic, extrovert etc. BUT I have learned a lot in a short space of time. I found it’s not always about compatibility but about someone who compliments you in what you're not and vice versa. However I still believe that compatibility in certain aspects in life are important such as spirituality. In other words someone who will COVER you in your short comings.

So when it comes to finding the right man a demonstration of their vision, love and devotion should be the indicator to whether they are a suitor, can you add to their vision?, can you help them reach their goal? It's not just about what we can get ladies (with your top ten lists) but what we can give. We are told to look for a life partner but I choose to challenge that method and look for a LOVE PARTNER then a life partner. Because love GIVES, COVERS, SEES, SOOTHES, BELIEVES, and SACRIFICES.

Love transcends time and goes beyond life, love is an action which has no end. It was out of LOVE that God gave us the greatest gift to man-kind.

What is your love language?

2010-03-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

COMMUNICATION is the key in relationships, keeping your perspective captivated can be difficult. That's why its important to learn each other’s love language. A relationship at the best of times can seem that you are speaking a foreign language, and comments like 'he just does not understand me' can be heard in a girlfriend talk. It's not always the case when your partner does not understand you, but do you understand their love language. According to Gary Chapman the author of 'Five Love Language' there are 5 love languages, and I will summarise this in my own words.

1) Words of Affirmation: You love the audible talk like, 'I love you', 'I appreciate you', 'you look good in that' and 'you're doing a really good job'. This Love Language sets you on a high when you are supported verbally. However if you are insulted by your better half, it is harder to forgive something he/she said then what is done physically.

2) Quality Time:You like spending time with your partner and having his/her under divided attention. You don't want anyone else or thing to interrupt your time together. The flip side to this is if your better half cannot find that quality time to spend with you, you will eventually interpret it to be their way of communicating their disinterest in you. Which could be a big mistake?

3) Receiving Gifts: Money can buy you love with this love language. It does not mean you're a gold digger now, but nothing shows appreciation then a bunch of flowers, being whisked off on a weekend away. It makes you feel cared for. The thought alone of the effort made to buy the gift makes you know your worth it to him/her.

4) Acts of Service: You like physical support, nothing shows love then your partner helping you with the tasks you have to do. Just the help to lighten the load speaks volumes to how much you're appreciated.

5) Physical Touch: You love hugging, holding hands, kissing, to show your love and affection. This does not always mean this love language leads to sex, but without this level of communication you don't feel loved.

I would say my love language is between physical touch and quality time. Being a people person I like constant interaction to keep me captivated. Once that's lost then I lose interest. What is your love language?

www.5lovelanguages.com

What is the definition of a DO-Right man?

2010-03-07T14:36:00.000-08:00

Now if I ask my girlfriends this question I'm sure I'll get 50 points that would take not just one man but about 10 to fulfil. Steve Harvey claims in his book ' Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man' that us women need about 4 men to complete the man that we want:

1) An old man: Who will stay at home, give you the cuddles, and his pension check.
2) An ugly man: Who will go beyond to fulfil your needs, pay your bills, take you away on trips simply because he cannot believe he's caught a good catch like you.
3) A gay man: Who will go out on shopping sprees with you, and you are able to talk to him as long as you want and expect to get a real answer instead of a grunt.
4) A Mandingo: Who according to 'Steve Harvey' has it going on from his head to his toes but is empty in the head as a drunkards beer can. They are only good for one 'thang.'

Now there is no way I'm gonna get 4 different men to fulfil my desires for 1 man. That's just too much work and crazy. :-)

But isn’t it strange that men don't have the 'top ten' or lists, they see what they like and go for it. Well scripture say's Proverbs 18 verse 22 Whosover findeth a wife findeth a good [thing], and obtaineth favour of the LORD. So its all win win win for the fellas. Maybe we're doing too much looking, finding, and investigating. We do however have a responsiblity to find out he's intentions that's a standard. But is the list thing necessary, when all that we want may not be what we need.

Gets you thinking...

Like Father like Son-in law

2010-02-25T16:30:00.001-08:00

So is it true that you’re likely to marry someone like your father?

Hmmm I would have to be on the fence on this one. Having a man who shared the same characteristics as my dad would drive me round the bend. I do however believe that the relationship a daughter has with her father does have an influence on the types of relationships she as with other men. You could be more vulnerable in a relationship if your father is absent. That element of manhood in a woman's life is important. I suppose looking back at my ex's (the dreaded word) I suppose they had a commonality trait that my father has: confidence and charisma.

I must say I am blessed to have good male role models in my life, which can almost make me spoilt at times. My expectations are high and they should be in this day and age. Something like flowers should be an automatic standard or at least a rose if he's broke. :-)The flip side is men need good male role models too. No matter how good a mother is in raising a male child it can never substitute a father or father figure in his life. I can always tell when I meet a man who does not have a father figure or a good relationship with his father the choices he makes is more trial and error then tried and tested.

With all the changes in this society to the "ideal family" where a father is not encouraged to be a dad, leader, or provider we must remember we have a father who is the father to the fatherless. Whose character is flawless and has a nature we all must emulate.

Psalm 68 verse 5 A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.

A maid to Honor

2010-01-19T11:48:00.000-08:00

As I plunge another piece of chocolate into my mouth the word ‘submission’ comes to mind. “Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as (a service) to the Lord.” Ephesians 6 verse 22 KJV. This part of spiritual food can be hard to chew for us, who have adopted the independent woman era. It’s not as smooth, sweet and easy to swallow as chocolate. To see a wife serve her husband a plate of food with all the trimmings and then run back to give him a beverage, would seem outrageous in this society.

There is beauty in servant hood, isn’t that what Christ came to do on earth? Okay let me break it down. As women (wives) we have the ability to birth and carry out the vision and it’s the man (Husband) who plant’s the seed. That’s why it’s so important for us sisters in waiting to choose by the physical and spiritual. Just because he is a Christian does not mean he will make a good Husband or compatible. A good Husband carries Christ-like characteristic like submitting himself to God first, than a man of God/godly mentor. Does he have the ability to make wise decisions in a difficult situation? One of the lines I love to hate from a perspective suitor is: “I believe I’m called by the Holy Spirit to do X” and then I reply “Oh that’s good, so do you plan to do a qualification in it?” He replies. “Oh no I am just led by the Holy Spirit.” I’m sorry but even Jesus Christ had a profession as a carpenter. No more said!

_

Reflections from a Serial Bridesmaid!

2010-01-06T08:05:00.000-08:00

So we've entered into the New Year hip hip hooray!

I did not bother making any resolutions; I still have the last 10 to accomplish from 2009. So I guess my New Year’s resolution is accomplishing the ones I made last year.

As I reflected on my goals I took a mental inventory of my life and I must say I had more than my fair share of blessings.

One of my resolutions I tried to reinforce last year was to end my career as a bridesmaid until I walk down the aisle with my OWN bridal party honey! Well it seems the more I resist the role, the more brides to-be insist that I be a part of their bridal party. Please don’t get me wrong I am honoured but I am beginning to feel like a serial bridesmaid. I must start charging a fee.

I have been doing some thinking again, especially on relationships. I'm thinking of widening my entry requirements of an M-A-N. Now being a woman of ethnicity it has taken me a decade to get to this point. Interracial dating as been something I've always admired from far but never considered. So I guess it’s Hot Chocolate vs Whipped Cream - I'll keep you up dated :-)

MANifest

2009-12-06T05:17:00.000-08:00

So you've waited, prayed, fasted until you almost reached a size O. You believed and made your daily confessions that your husband will come in the next week by divine connection. But nothing has happened YET! (And it’s a year later) Or you've made your promise to God, that you will stay a virgin until you meet 'the one'. But time seems to be running out. Your biological clock is coming close to hitting its last hour and you’re wondering whether you are waiting in vain. Alongside the financial status of the world, it seems that there is a man crunch as well. With sexuality being exposed in every billboard, advert and bus station, your crying out to God to make your HUSBAND MANIFEST before you sin.

Just what is GOING ON!!!!

My mind comes to Daniel which is quite contrary but relevant. He looked into the books and saw that the Israelites where in bondage far longer than they should have been. (Well some consider singleness as bondage) He decided to raise a prayer of enquiry. On the 21st day Daniel received a response from angel Gabriel who informed him of the spiritual drama that was going on the heavenlies.

You might be in a place where you have received all the prophesies about your marriage, the wedding day and even the amount children you will have but that was ten years ago. When we are in a season of waiting especially in the area of marriage it can make us bitter towards God, or even turn away from the faith if we do not do the right research before God. A lot of our promises and blessings are up their hovering over us in the heavenlies, but we have a responsibility ensure that those promises manifest.

Ephesians 1 verse 3 'Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ'

Waiting To Exhale

2009-09-28T04:48:00.000-07:00

What a weekend I've had.

It's times like this when a good girlfriend talk comes in handy. I was on my way out of my house to visit my mother when my neighbour, who is also a good sister of mine, saw the stress on my face and said 'let's go for a drink.'It was a spare of the moment thing but very much needed. It was so uplifting that I did not need to moan about the day I had to feel better.

Whether you are married or single good girlfriends are so important to have. You will find that those type of friends are far and few in between.

I remember watching Waiting to Exhale and thinking what good friendships they had. Even though they each had some type of drama, they supported and comforted each other, cried and told each other home truths. Even though it was just a movie I believe it still reflects on true friendships.

Before you get ready to Exhale, check your friends and start eliminating the ones that make you inhale any time your around them.

Do not forsake the gathering of the HORMONES!

2009-09-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

I had to talk about this one for the single sisters out there. Because I think we're slightly misunderstood by the marriage folk.

It happens around that time of the month when it feels like a freak heat wave in the middle of winter. After your episode as happened, you almost feel like giving God a thanksgiving offering that you did not grab the nearest brother out of frustration and have your way with him. But we are told to wait patiently until our husbands come.

Not as easy as it sounds!
So what are the coping mechanisms? Praying? Fasting? Fall asleep until your prince wakes you up with a kiss? Well that last one is a bit far fetched.

One of the ways that keep me cool is knowing that my body is the temple of God. I mean every part of my body. Sometimes we submit certain parts of our bodies like our hands. 'We lift our hands in the sanctuary', we lift our voices, we lift our hearts etc. What about the 'other parts' and I know you know what I’m talking about. God is interested in those areas too. The word of God says “Be ye holy for I am Holy”. Leviticus 11 verse 45

On my honeymoon night I want to be naked and not ashamed, kiss my husband, make love to my husband and... Well I won’t say too much. But you get what I'm saying. The price of liberty is a price I don't mind paying. I have done my sentence of guilt long enough and I refuse to go back to that prison cell.

So do not forsake the gathering of your hormones just submit them.

CHECK MATE! part 2 of Dating for data.

2009-09-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

Well... I did not mean to leave it this long to give you the part 2, I'm so sorry my dear sistas. So I'm going to go straight into it no blagging.

So how do you know that he is the one?

One thing I've learned recently is to ensure your perspective suitor as cut off all ties from former lovers. Some brothas who still keep in contact with their ex-girlfriend's on a 'friendly' basis is dangerous. This is not in all cases but be very prayerful if you fall into this situation.

You both must identify your expectations. It is good to be single for a little while especially after a relationship. We tend to carry residue from a former relationship which can include distrust, disappointment, blame, and hurt. This can determine your expectation level within a relationship.

Your suitor should be captivated by what excites you. This works both ways. If your relationship progresses into a marriage something other than sex should excite you about each other.

Compatibility - Is a big one
One of the most important things is compatibility, you may be both Christians, but it does not mean every Christian man in a suit is your HUSBAND. If you happen not to attend the same church does he believe in the same doctrine? Do you complement each other spiritually as well as physically.

What mentor does he look up to? Mike Murdock says that you can tell where a person is going in who they are following.

If you've been dating for a while and you feel there is no progression in the relationship, say after 6 months do not waste your time continuing with another six months. (This is assuming you are not having sex before marriage)

While on the subject, if you’re a Christian and truly want to find a husband you should not be knocking the boots with no man. Not only is this a sin, but you also form a soul tie with that individual. Once that soul tie kicks in, it becomes very difficult to identify whether you are choosing the right man. Your body is tied, emotions are tied, and mentally you’re tied the whole nine yards. When you’re walking in disobedience to even approach the throne room of God to pray about whether he is the right man will be so hard.

Bad company corrupts good manners. Who are his friends? Is he comfortable hanging out with people who use bad language, disrespect women, don't work, and have no vision to progress themselves?Who are his advisors?

Find out who gives your suitor advice. If his taking advice from a drunk, or an adulteress you better think again.

Most of all be prayerful and listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You will always feel an indicator in your spirit if something is wrong.

Dating for DATA Part 1

2009-09-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

My mentor has a book called 'If men are like buses how do I catch one?' I pondered on this title and mentally agreed with her title. Men are like buses, ever stood there waiting for one (the bus that is). You wait for ages and ages until you get so annoyed that you promise yourself that when it eventually comes you going to give the driver a piece of your mind. As it turns out when you see that little bus coming from the distance you are so relived you could do a happy dance right there in the middle of the street.

So on the line of waiting for one (a man that is) how do you handle the dating side.

There are so many boundaries in Christian dating which has a lot of grey areas. Can you kiss after a couple of dates? Can you hold hands at church? How do you know he is the one?

Well I'm going to try and help you out. The funny thing is I was asked to do a talk just Friday gone and the same questions came up.

I believe dating is for collecting data-information for the disqualifying or qualifying process. When you apply for a credit card don't they do a credit check to see whether you've been FAITHFUL in the past to keep the COMMITMENT you agreed to when you signed the contract. Got you thinking right?

Part 2 is coming up with things to look out for.

The Sky is the Limit

2009-09-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

Hi ladies,

Just to let you know that my website as gone live as of today.
www.got2gethitched.com I have a really good audio clip called 'How to marry the right man' by Apostle Greenup, who is one of my father's in the faith. He preached at T.D Jakes Manpower 98. He has a powerful ministry for marriage.

He has a DVD preaching called ' Wives Gone Wild! The Happy Sex Lives of Horny Orgasmic Wives' based on the Songs of Solomon' This is a must for single and married couples. If your interested in ordering this please email me.

The Sky is the Limit!!!

Blessings

SPECIAL YOU ARE!

2009-08-30T02:35:00.001-07:00

Good Morning just something to encourage you!

I heard this song and dedicated it to my big sister. I would also like to dedicate this song to you, because you are all SPEACIAL.

(please listen to the words)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_lamizZzi8

Blessings

The Body of the Bride

2009-08-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

So we are brides in the making!

Are we truly getting ourselves prepared as brides? Have you ever looked at our sister Queen Esther? You know she really had that preparation thing down to a T. A little old orphan girl who was raised by her uncle, found favour in the sight of the King and became the Queen. - (It does not matter where you come from or what you been through you are still qualified to be match with a King)

If you’re like me, you've probably already planned your wedding mentally especially the dress. The length, the colour, the style and let's not forget the veil. We don't even know who the groom is yet, but we've got it planned the songs the first dance.

The thing I love about Queen Esther is that she endured a whole year of purifying: Esther chapter 2 verse 12 kjv say's "...for so were the days of their purifications accomplished, to wit, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours, and with other things for the purifying of the women" I love this!

Instead of focusing on the bridal garment and bridal arrangements, the focus was on 'PURIFICATION'. While we're still being prepared, let's look at the body of the bride within us, which is supposed to be presented spotless without blemish(not old junk). It does not matter how white the dress is, or how cute the veil is, it will not determine the type of wife you will be. Is the King that God is preparing for you worth going under a 12 month extreme make-over?

BORN AGAIN VIRGIN!

2009-08-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

To those of us who have dipped our toes in sin before we came to Christ, don't you wish you had just waited? Not to say I had a terrible time, but there's just something special about a women who waits on the Lord. She radiates a particular beauty and Glory as she walks down the aisle.

It might seem strange in our society to hear of women in their forties still holding on to their virginities, we should really be applauding them. I do, because I would not have lasted that long, no matter how much oil you pour on my head. I'm just making it now by the GRACE of God.

I'm quite happy now to call myself 'A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN'. (It’s been that long) The bible says that we are new creations and that ALL things become new. 2 Cor 5:17. Ooh Thank- You Jesus. I'm convinced that after a few years of 'nothin' it naturally snaps back into place anyway.

Some of us diva’s still have our boyfriends on the side, handing out the good stuff. Ask yourself is he worth it? The very thing that makes your price far above rubies you are given it away for free.

I challenge you to consecrate your gift and go on a man fast until further notice. If his not ready to commit he better get another hit.
No wed - No Bed.

Sorry I don't speak DUTCH!

2009-08-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

Hasn't the dating world turned right upside down?

Can we please get back to the old fashion way of dating. When men did not expect to 'get it' after the first date? It seems that being asked out by a brother, means that you better be prepared to go dutch on everything you do and eat.

Now I'm not saying that we should go on dates without dollars in our purse, but the fact that I am being asked out to dinner or a movie should mean just that: 'TAKEN OUT'. We sister's really need to allow men to take their place's back and out of that lazy equal oppotunity excuse of going half. If we continue to sing Beyonce's 'independent woman' theme song we will find ourselves very independent and alone.

Can I suggest some guidelines when on a date. Since we are looking for life partners and not bed partners.

1)Ensure your date opens door's for you. (this one should be a standard)
2)Pours out your glass of drink first, before he serves himself
3)Does not undress you with his eyes or speak to your breast
4)Gives nice clean compliments
5)Drops you to your door without expecting a kiss, if anything request a kiss from your hand.

It may seem that I am a hopeless romantic but we really need to bring back that old skool lovin. You may say that my expectation is to high, could it be that your expectation is too low?

Next time you are asked on a date, when your suitor looks at you to pay half, simply tell him sorry I don't speak Dutch!

Pretty Ugly!!

2009-08-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

A bit of Wife talk for those who really want 2 get hitched.

In today's society there is such a strong emphasis on beauty. Especially amongst us sistas. We are finding new techniques to do our weaves. We have lace front, micro weave, laser weave, wigs, false eye lashes and so on. I personally don’t have a problem with it, because I am a regular weave and wig wearer. But have we taken the word make-up too far.

Under all this camouflage are we dealing with the inside which incorporates our soul and spirit? This is where the real beauty is manifested. Many of us are in search of husbands, but how can he find us, if we can’t find ourselves through the make-up.

Wives are carriers of vision. That’s why God gave us the ability to take on a man’s seed which matures into a baby after 9 months. Genesis states that we are to be a helpmeet for our Husbands. But how can we be a helpmeet when we can’t help ourselves. The Word of God say’s a Wise woman builds her house but a foolish women tears it down. The house I believe can represent two things, the house meaning your bodies and the house you build with your spouse.

Many women are spotless on the outside so beautiful, you wonder why they are not on the cover of a magazine. But when you look a bit closer to the inner being of that woman you find that the picture perfect smile starts to crack. The inside seems to resemble a withering rose. This is what I call ‘Pretty Ugly’. Let’s start to dress in garments of purity, virtue, kindness, gentleness and integrity. Those make you irresistible to a man who is looking for a virtuous wife.

1 Sam chapter 16 verse 7 “... for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

The Ruth Factor!!!

2009-08-01T03:14:00.000-07:00

Let's get a bit spiritual now,

The life of Ruth in the bible is such a beautiful picture of romance. It’s about a woman who decides to stay with her mother in-law after losing her husband and moved to a place that was strange to her. She had the opportunity to leave her mother in-law and go about her business like her sister in law. But she chose the narrow path that could only be walked by faith. I've heard some wives say that they would rather die than live with their mother in-law. Ruth's choice to stay, led her to a mega rich husband hunk called Boaz.

There‘s a lot of tools we can learn from our dear sister Ruth. Her attitude, commitment, faithfulness, and obedience led her latter to be greater than her past.
What I love about this biography, is Ruth's submission to be mentored by her mother in-law. She done what she was told to do, took on Naomi faith, and worked real hard. Sometimes we live our lives making our own decisions, doing our own thing, thinking that we are walking the will of God. It's only until God wipes it all out, do we recognised how wrong we are.

I believe that every woman has a Naomi in their lives, maybe an aunt or a friend which will mentor you, and led you into your promise land and train you for your Boaz. But are you ready to work hard and forsake your old ways to obtain the Ruth Factor?

Titus 2:3 older women likewise are to be reverent in their behaviour, not malicious gossips nor enslaved too much wine, teaching what is good,
Titus 2:4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
Titus 2:5 {to be} sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonoured.

BE Prepared, Be very PREPARED!

2009-07-24T02:23:00.000-07:00

So we are crying out that we want to get married?
But are we prepared enough to handle what being a wife brings. It’s not just sex ladies and roses and all those romantic things that we dream of. We sometimes get carried away with romance novels and create that to be our story.

When we are single for a long time, this society can turn women into a one man band. You cook, you clean, you do DIY, fix the light bulbs, fix your own car and the list is endless. But when your man comes he adds his MR to your MISS. Meaning, you’re not expected to do all these things anymore. Whether men admit to it, they actually like to do the man things in the home. It keeps them feeling masculine, the king, and the knight in shining armour.

But is this easier said than done?
As you may know the first year of marriage is always the toughest ESPECIALLY in Christendom. Having to wait for your husband to do jobs around the house that you can do in 10 minutes is very frustrating and can easily turn into a argument.

A survey was done about what men preferred. The option was, sex, respect, or love. Do you know 90% of men said respect? Even I was shocked. When men are consistently put in a position where they feel disrespected it makes them feel undervalued and insecure. It turns out men can be quite sensitive in that area.

The conclusion is be prepared be very prepared. There is much more I want to say I will have to put it in a book.

Can WE Have It ALL

2009-07-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing this phrase 'it’s a man’s world' time and time again. But is this phrase a true reflection of today's society when gender roles our being amalgamated. We are boxing, being the main providers, and executing every boundary that would have historically held us back because of our sex. But have we taken this equal opportunity stance too far?. I am a firm believer in getting what is yours, but exchanging my natural mechanism as a women to prove to the world that I can do what a man can do, does not seem right to me.

We women are running things in today’s world, but the balance does not seem to be lining up. Those of us who are highly successful are Single with a capital 'S' meaning no husband and no children. The question is can we have it all?

I don't think we can have it all. It is too hard ladies, sacrifices on our part has to be made. Just 9 months of pregnancy will take you out of the game for a long while. And even if you have the money to hire nannies and maids, the true essence of building a emotionally secure family unit is lost. We cannot look to the celebrities and say that it’s working for them, because in actual fact it isn’t. Let’s be real and not forget the essence of our original place in society while we chase our dreams.

BEHIND every GOOD man is a GOOD WOMAN.

Down Under! Under the Sheets

2009-07-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

Is Oral sex acceptable in a Christian marriage?
This issue has been such a complex and taboo subject to talk about in Christendom. I've been told that it’s demonic and has no place in a Christian marriage. I've also heard the argument that it’s acceptable for a woman to do it to her husband, but not right for a man to perform this act onto his wife. Hmmm

The bible has no clear indication of whether this is wrong or right, but what I will add is that a husband and wife become one flesh, and once they have submitted themselves unto God they are under the holiness of God. This is not an excuse for inviting all types of unusual appliances and un-holy activities into your marital bedroom, but to encourage creativity and openness.

I believe in such areas where it seems grey, we must look at our individual lives and look at the fingerprint of how God wants us to live out His purpose. Something’s are acceptable for other people to do, where as someone might be consecrated from it. A wise man once said to me that it was not acceptable for a husband to perform this act as the man’s head symbolises the lead of his home. Meaning it would be of disgrace for a man to put his head there. I can understand his point on the spiritual aspect. I added, if it was such a disgrace, why would God choose His son to come out of there. huh?

House Husbands!

2009-06-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

I'll set the picture for you. Can you imagine you are married and you have worked all your adult life to have your dream career. You are fulfilled in your marriage, financially, spiritually everything is going good. And then you find out that your pregnant, you and your husband are over joyed, it's your first child and your both excited.

Then 4 months into your pregnancy your husband sits you down for a little talk, he explains that he does not want you to work anymore, but be a home maker, he informs you of the importance of having one parent constantly at home. He also reassures you that he makes enough money to pay the bills and give you all the nice things you need. What would be going through your mind? After all you have devoted your whole life to building your career. You cannot see your self asking anyone for a allowance each month. At this point it seems that the walls of your life is crashing down. You never picture yourself as a homemaker.

Many women are facing this situation having to part with there careers. So then you decide to sit your husband down after a good session of love making and explain to him that you cannot give up your career. He understands and says that he is happy to stay at home and be a house husband...

Is that realistic in this society? Allowing a man to be a home maker? I feel that we are really changing the roles that women and men play in a relationship. Men are built physically to work, to kill the lion and drag it home on their backs so we can soak it in lemon, season it and fry it in flour. I think over time I would loose respect for my husband, I would forget how much hard work it takes to be a homemaker. I would also adapt to my surroundings and possibly loose that nurturing side of me and develop a harder shell. I will start calling the shots and acting like a real Diva in the marriage. Remember it all went wrong when Adam followed Eve and ate the apple. Many times we run into problems in marriage when we realign God's original order of marriage. God - Man - Woman. What's your thoughts?

Age ain't Nothing but a NUMBER

2009-06-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

The options for finding a man that acts his age is almost impossible. With ridiculous fashion trends and hairstyles turning men into metro-sexual, it's hard to know which team they actually play for. Hey ladies! don't you just want to walk over and slap a man who is wearing his trousers halfway down his butt. Maybe I'm getting too old, but this thing really irritates me. I can't see why they just can't pull them up and stop walking around like penguins. Anyway...

In the result of older men (33 plus) acting their shoe size instead of their age, it has pulled women to go for the younger type. I can understand this, well what's the point of going out with a hard back 42 year old, when his masquerading as a 24 year old. You might as well swap him for the 24 year old, who will at least have the energy to keep up with you.

But then again ladies, we are not looking for a piece of sugar cane, that once you have chewed on it for a few minutes losses it's taste. We are looking for sustainability, protection, leadership, integrity. Can I get a Amen? If we go to the other side of the spectrum you'll find the younger sister's dating older men, old enough to be their father. I don't think I could go that far. 10 years is my limit. It starts to get weird after that that age gap. I don't want to find myself back in the singles club after 5 years as a widow.

My conclusion is that we all know ourselves and know what we can put up with. I guess if you can 'make life' with someone and walk in agreement with them, beside the age or trend then I suppose it will work.

Amos 3 verse 3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

20% of What I Need!

2009-06-19T04:03:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about the 20/80 percent rule in a relationship? Well let me give you the low down. The theory is: it's better to have a man with 20% of what you need, then the 80% of what you want. WANT and NEED are 2 different things honey! So the question is, what qualities fall into the 20% or 80% category.

Now to work out a 20 and 80 percent list makes me bring back that top 10 list of qualities I tried to get rid of. It seems I'm going around in circles here! Anyway so I have this list back and the perspective candidates who have submitted their applications of interest:

1) A tall brother that I'm not really attractive too, is a bit quiet and a bit shy. Every time I see this brother a song comes to mind: "don't ask my neighbour, come to me, don't be afraid..."
Now without me being too overly spiritual here, if a man is scared to approach me then how is he going to be the Prophet, King and Priest of the house huh?

2) A brother that is the same height as moi (no hi shoe allowance) very, very spiritual, sweet spirit but cannot connect with my other side. I have been unsaved longer then I have been saved so there are elements of me that still need taming, do you get me? My pastor's wife advised me to get new nightwear and save it for my marriage. So being an obedient child of God, I did just what she instructed. I bought me some nightwear which I call 'Weapons of mass Destruction'. Now with this perspective brother I'm not to sure how he would take me wearing a bra that has slits in them followed by crotchless panties. He may even rebuke me or start praying in tongues.

3) Now brother number 3, only said hi to me couple of times, and told my pastor that I would make a good wife for him. Excuse me, does he even know if I can boil water never the less an egg. I could even be a Jezebel in the church perpetrating that I am christian.

Need I add more, I think not. Just like Eve, we must believe that God has someone for us. Someone who is connected to us from the inside out that 'rib connection' (the title of my next book). Proverbs 18 verse 22 'He that finds a true wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord'

Beauty or the Beast?

2009-06-16T08:36:00.001-07:00

I'm going to put down the spiritual talk for a minute.

I've been out of the dating scene for a while, and I'm a bit out of touch with how things work when it comes to Christian dating. The advice I'm getting is not to even consider outside appearance but to find a diamond in the rough and polish him up until he shines. Hmm! I'm finding that a bit difficult to swallow, where do I draw the line? Do I accept a proposal from a brother, that I'm not even attracted to physically? Is it fair to go into a marriage like your reconstructing a house? finding things to change and plaster over. I can't see why I can't have the best of both worlds. A man that is PLEASING to MY eyes, good character, God fearing, has integrity, respectful and tall. I am quite a tall lady, and have never in the past dated a man that was shorter than me. But now I am expected to marry one, because he is a christian and as a good heart. It seems the very thing that we may desire in a life partner is not even relevant. Back to the spiritual, didn't God say in his word Mathew 7 verse 7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

I refuse to believe that throughout the whole earth there are no handsome christian men that are not on the DL(down low), players, or in jail. On the flip side, I don't want to miss a blessing in disguise. Most of my friends are saying that they were not originally attracted to their partners, but over time they changed. I'm really stuck on this one. Is it important to be married to someone you are physically attracted to? Beauty or the Beast? If I was guaranteed that my beast would turn into price charming I would not have a problem with this, but since we don't live in fairy tale land I think I will have too reconsider.

Stand up and be a real MAN!

2009-06-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Ladies! are we in today's society becoming a little bit confused? It seems that 'us' women are becoming more independent and more single. The rate of single women saved and unsaved is increasing like the swine flu. We have our house's, careers, car's and all that money can buy but no husband. I'm not saying that a man is our all in all, but isn't our natural make-up made to multiply and subdue the earth. I am reminded every month by my 'crimson tide' that hey sista it ain't happened yet.

I think with all our Destiny Child style campaigning, that we are 'so independent' we have allowed men to become lazy and loose their roles as men. Because of this, brothers are saying that we are too aggressive, and have an attitude. This as led them to feel that masculinity is not necessary anymore. Now many men are found displaying very odd behaviours such as going to the hairdressers on a regular basis to get their hair done, wearing make-up, and putting on face cleansers. Seeing any man in my hairdressers sitting under a steamer to have a deep moisturising treatment (with a steam cap on) is the last straw for me. I like a man that knows he's a man, wears belts with his trousers, chases the spiders away, as a nice low cut or bald, and last but not least pays for ME to get MY hair done at the hairdressers. That's what I'm talking about. A man that leads his home with order and structure. That's the way God designed it.
Ephesians 5 verse 25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Love is Blind! Really?

2009-06-14T02:32:00.000-07:00

Would you consider marrying someone outside your race or culture. Do you actually believe love is blind? Lately I am beginning to see a lot of sisters settling down with white brothers and I think its excellent. I mean I really do. It's starting to change my initial opinion about marrying outside my race/culture. I must say that I am naturally attracted to black men, but with all their dramas and immaturity, white brothers seemed to be looking quite good. With the Mathew Machonahey's and George Clooney's highlighting their profile, if I could get me one like that who is saved and sanctified I will be jumping over to the other side honey.

I don't know if you get this too but it seems that when a celebrity white man is with a black woman you feel kind of proud like 'you go girl'. But when a celebrity black man is with a white woman, what runs through the mind is the word 'typical!!!' Is that thinking right?

For me its not so much a colour thing but a culture thing. I could marry a man who's within my race and still not connect culturally or spiritually. I am quite westernised, so if I was to was marry a man from the bush of a village, we would have some serious problems. The main thing I suppose is COMPATIBILITY.

I have heard that white brothers really know how to treat the sisters. I heard one of my friends say that she is treated like queen. Isn't that what we all want? just to be treated like the queens that we are?. I must say on the defense of my black brothers, if they made the very same statement above we would be ready to jump on their backs and pull off their heads.

Jokes a side, and on a serious note, shouldn't we be looking at the heart of man and not his skin, culture or creed. I suppose that we must all be open and willing to learn about other cultures that are not our own. The blood of Jesus is only one colour which is red, and it was shed for everyone.

Sanctified Love Making

2009-06-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

I knew the title would catch your attention. Well now I have it let me begin. In Christianity the rule is that you are to abstain from any kind of sexual intercourse or action before getting married. Being a young lady who came into Christ at a fairly older age of 23, I had already by this time, dipped my feet in the ocean a couple of times. Entering to this new way of life was extremely interesting not only spiritually but physically and emotionally. My first year of no sex was great I had the mentality that I was giving it all up for Jesus, did not want to be touched and be made unclean by no man at all. I call this stage 'happy 2 be single' level 1. After about a year or two of this I began to realise that around the time of my menstrual cycle I would get extremely hot in temperature and my hormones would be rolling all over like loose marbles. I call this, level 2 'hot flushes' aka withdrawal symptoms. After year three I entered Level 3 called 'Lord please send my husband any man will do'. This stage is very interesting because, you are so desperate for a man it feels as if your skin is going to peel off your back.

After a lot of prayer throughout the torment, I began to see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I realise what sex was, it was not just for entertainment but it was much deeper than that. I realise that God did not create 'sex' but he created love making. Love making is what two people who are covenanted together in marriage do. It was not just penetration but a relationship, built upon a friendship, holiness, trust, commitment, mutual respect, devotion, submission etc. I then started to learn my price as a woman. Proverbs 31 verse 10 says Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Love making is not just for the bedroom, but its how you relate to each other, in the marriage. Boy did my mindset change, I did not want unlicensed, uncommitted, a un-trustful man who was not willing to put down a life payment plan on this fine thang and have access to my treasure chest of rubies. I found a new respect for love making and the passion of it through God's eyes. I leave you with this wise statement: Matthew 7 verse 6 Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Computer Love

2009-06-10T01:21:00.000-07:00

I've been told that its the latest thing, finding love on the Internet. "You can meet all sorts of potentials."I've been told, I still beg to differ, as the amount of weirdos and freaks increase each day. I am still sitting on the fence on this. What worries me about it is that its not exclusive and having to end up fishing for a man on the Internet screams a little bit of desperation. I would rather go back to clubs to find a man then even consider finding one on the net. I would be a bear face liar if I said I have never looked at any Christan dating website I was curious and had to see for myself what the fuss was about. Actually it was quite fun I had a laugh. Most of the brothers really looked like they had no other option but to post their profile. God forgive me for saying so. What surprises me a little bit is that many US churches are cashing in to this industry. Can't we in Christianity be a little be more innovated why do we always have to copy the 'world'. I've heard some sisters say, "I am too busy to do the social thing I am a high flying independent woman, its the best way for me and fits into my lifestyle." What's happened to the old fashion way of meeting the 'one' through friends. If your too busy to find a life partner hence LIFE PARTNER, than your better off alone girlfriend. For me as a christian I would rather be a Ruth and be found by my Boaz. I was reading the first 2 chapters of the book of Ruth this morning. It was Ruth's reputation, commitment and faithfullness that got her so blessed with the man of her dreams. Not the amount of dates she found on the net or met that week. Evan though all around her things were dying she continued to have hope and faith.
In all in all we must remember that we are Christians and that are lives are not determined by the latest faze but by the hand of God.

Is there such a thing as the one?

2009-06-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

It seems to be the same all over the world, most christian women are single. From the age range of 28 onwards. We are all waiting for the one, my question is, is there such a thing as the one? Most of us women can't even find half of a good christian man then a whole one. Or is it that our expectations are too high? The bible informs us that a man is supposed to find us. We then have society statistics telling us that there is a man shortage ahhhh. What are we supposed to do.

I have been a single christian for 6 years now and have endured so much advice throughout the years that I am totally confused. My first tip as a single christian was to write down my top ten and be specific as God is a God of specifics which consisted of:
A man after God's heart, tall, prayerful, handsome, confident and so on...Well that tall man did come my way minus everything else on my list and I was not attracted to him at all. All my friends seemed to think that he was the one. But my argument was just because he's a christian it doesn't mean we were compatible goodness!.

What irritates me throughout the whole process in christiandom is that the married couples say that marriage is nothing, your better off single. Well excuse me I do have hormones thank-you very much, and also would like companionship. God said in his word that its not good for man to be alone.

What is your point of view care to share!